Written in Stone

Hello, my love. Told you I wanted to write you and here I am doing just that. I know this past weekend was a tiny bit difficult at times but overall it was a great weekend. I love every moment I have with you, even those that are hard. I guess it is because the moments are with you and those are the ones that matter most. I cherish those. It isn't always going to be smooth and easy going, we are human, so it is inevitable that we are going to come across tough moments. What I want you to know is that despite the little difficulties I am so incredibly happy...so very content! There isn't anything else in this whole world I need besides what I have right this moment. You and my kids...yeah, that is more than enough for me! I love you so much and I am so happy. Baby, you really have no idea how happy I am. I am to that point I was at years ago, so happy and I really don't know what to do with it all. I lost you a long, long time ago and every part of being with you is such a miracle to me...I couldn't stand losing you again. I honestly don't think I could do it again. It is like right now, I need to hold onto you for all I am worth and not let go, not let you out of my sight or you are going to run away while I am not looking. Crazy, huh???  I don't know how not to be afraid, I have been messed over and told I am not good enough for anyone for so long I don't know how NOT to believe that is true. I want to give you everything in the world. I want to be everything to you, like you are to me. I want to be the best you have ever had, not just another in the line. I guess that is because that is what you are to me. Oh god, yes, I am terrified. Baby, I am trying. I may fall short, but I swear to you that there is no way on earth that anyone loved you more than I do. There is no way anyone else ever has. It takes some kind of huge love to hang on to someone for 25 years, the way I held onto you. I never once let you go. I couldn't. I am working on the broken places in me but I can't just make them disappear.  There will always be some residuals I am sure no matter how hard I work through it, some things that kind of always mess with me. I may always be hard on myself. Somewhere in my heart, I believe I am a good woman and I deserve happiness and am worthy of being loved. Somewhere inside me I believe I am beautiful. Right now, I just don't know where that somewhere is. What I do know for sure is that I love you more and more every single day and being with you like this is better than ANY dream I ever had. Nothing I ever imagined about being with you again was as good as this IS!!! I love you, I love you with everything I am, with every single thing inside me. I love you...YOU!!! God help me, I love you more than I could or will ever love. I didn't honestly know I had this kind of love in me...I didn't know it was possible. I know I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, being by your side. I know I am not half as good as you deserve, you deserve so much more than me. I know I am going to do everything in my power to be worthy of you, to deserve you!
Love Always,
Nan

Please know that I love you with all of my heart and I do understand how you feel. I know it isn't easy but together we will get past all of this. You are everything I've ever wanted and more. That woman doesn't hold a candle to you. You take such good care of me. I'm not used to that baby. All of those things you think you aren't, you ARE!!! All of those things you think you are not doing enough of or well enough, you ARE and then some. I love you so very much and I will NEVER let you go. Please try not to worry darling. See you soon.
Love, Yours,
Glenn