Written In Stone

let me just say first I am so glad you are doing better today and I thank you for saying I helped you to get through that terrible day. I want you to know though, that you did that. I merely served as the sounding board and tried to point you to a more positive frame of mind. You made it through and I am proud of you, even more so after reading what all happened to you. I was terribly worried about you. Don't worry about the songs you sent. I understood what you were going through. You did not bring me into any dark abyss, the only abyss I suffered was my own emotions reacting to your hurt. I do NOT like seeing you hurt that way and that was trying for me, terribly painful. But, because I love you, I was determined to be there come hell or high water and I am glad that I was able to be. Loving you simply means for me you don't go through all this alone ever again. I am here beside you, come what may.
Second, I must say I am torn on this issue. Let me explain before you get to thinking.
On the one hand I am taking a deep breath of gladness and relief. You will no longer have to endure abuse, to worry over the fact that this time she might really be dead, you don't have to be insulted or attacked, you don't have to lose things so precious to you, you don't have to be hurt anymore! I rejoice for that. I cannot even tell you how much. Someone hurting you pisses me off to no end and I am glad that is over. I would also be lying if I didn't say that I am thankful that we are one step closer, so much closer to a real chance together. My situation is different than yours was and I feel we are well over halfway there. I cannot tell you I do not want that chance. I do. I want you in my life, period. No explanation needed.
I also struggle because I worry about your heart. You never said you didn't love this woman. In fact, you said just the opposite. I know you love her, I know you are hurting, I know it is going to be hard for you and there will be moments you miss her greatly. For that reason alone, I grieve for you. I know you deserve so much better and I think you probably do as well...but I also know love is sometimes very blind.
It all boils down to my heart wanting your heart to be happy even if that means or meant you would never be with me again. It means putting my feelings aside and thinking about yours. It means as much as I love and care for you, I would have been by your side supporting you in every way I could for however long you chose to be with her. It is what I have to do, I could do nothing else. I so want you to be happy and to have all the good and beautiful things this world can offer. Yes, I miss you. Yes, I want you! Yes, I love you!!! BUT, you come before any of those things I feel inside.
I am very proud of you! You made it through such a hard day. I didn't do that for you. YOU did that and in the end, thankfully, she didn't turn it all upside down and destroy all you have. I am glad maybe this time, it will not have to be sooo ugly. Of course, I also know she may very well be on her best behavior now and may hope that she can convince you to ask her to stay and for awhile she may even try. I know this may happen and I will be ok with anything your heart leads you to do. So if it occurs to you to concern yourself with that, DON'T! I am here for you...no matter what or who you happen to be with. If a change of heart happens, I hope it will be far better for you and that if it isn't better that you will one day come to realize you deserve so very much better.
In the end, all I want you to know is that I am by your side, every single step of the way. I will not forsake you. I will not leave you. I will back away if you ever need me to, but I will never leave you. I never have. I never will. This time, I have just had the chance to be there on a more personal level and that is without question one of the GREATEST blessings of my life. You are a part of me Glenn, You are such a deep part of me I could never make it go away, NEVER and I don't intend to ever try to change that. You are going to be with me for the rest of my life, in my heart and soul...that place you have always been.
Ok, love...I really must go. I didn't sleep last night, worked HARD all day and am freezing, (so wish you were here to snuggle next to). I want to take a hot bath and try to sleep tonight. I will be so looking forward to seeing you in the morning. I cannot wait to tell the truth. I love you Glenn Henry and I hope that is one thing in this world you are sure of. Have a great night.
Always,
♥Nan

Good morning, so enjoyed your letter. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Am actually at a loss of words after reading your note. I do know that I love you and can't wait to see you. Can you feel the butterflies? Cause I sure can!!  Now that I am finally free, I am able to give myself completely to you, not just part of me. I don't know what the future holds in store for us but I am so looking forward to exploring it with you. I worry about you and your ties to this "man". The last thing on this earth I want is to complicate your life. So tell me how to proceed. I will not rush you. I will wait if need be just as you have waited. I will do whatever you ask of me. Just let me know.
♥Glenn

Do proceed, that is all I ask. Dont worry and dont wait. I too want this exploration. You are no complication, you are the best part of my life. I will tell you more about this later. Just know, nothing will stop me from this...
♥Nan

 So... does that mean we have a date???
♥Glenn

We absolutely have a date!!!
♥Nan

I can't wait to see you Nannie!!!
♥Glenn