People Are Strange

Hey love! How are you? At 1 in the morning I reckon you are sleeping. Me I am a tad pissed off because I cannot find the full People Are Strange documentary to watch on You Tube. I was getting all into it, loving it and then POW, can't watch anymore because of copyright stuff, so now I am desperately trying to track it down so I can finish my movie and be satisfied, LOL. I do love the Doors. It isn't anything really so much to do with Morrison as a Rock God, it has more to do with his mind, his brilliance and his insanity. When we get to modern poets, I am actually going to have the kids study some of his poetry. (Yes, I know I am a poetry junkie, always will be!) His writings really are that good to me. I would like my kiddos to experience them, even some of those that would take me ages to figure out when he must have been tripping really hard are worthy of study........
So I just realized what I was doing...once I get started about something I love so much, I forget sometimes to shut up. Not everyone cares about these things like I do and certainly not my opinions on the matter. Sorry about that darling, I was off in my own world. Did see lyrics in a song today though that said "just like a poet needs the pain..." Maybe, just maybe that is why I write. Most everything I have ever written comes from pain, either a bad kind of pain or a good kind. My poems for you come from the good. I have so few poems on here, but I literally have hundreds. You would be shocked to see them all. Most are very, very dark but I think you would be able to read them and not just understand that side of pain in me but to love me despite the pain and the places that brought me to that darkness. From out of the darkness...into the light. Yes, that is what you are!! LIGHT!
I am glad you had a much better weekend (I think LOL) That seems funny to say that. To tell you I am happy you were happy this weekend...but I cannot bear to think of you in pain...so I am happy that the weekend was good. I am thinking maybe one day I need to see you play that disc golf game of yours. But don't ask me to try it. I hurt people with frisbees (discs). LOL I would hate to permanently scar you or cripple you for life or something. Then I'd just have to make it up to you by taking care of you for OH, I am thinking forever might do the trick.
I missed you today and hated that I was away so much of it. But I will be here tomorrow and maybe we can spend some time together. I loved the quotes you sent. I love the music. Everything you send from a song to your sweet goodnight's means so much to me. They have all been colored with a very true love and that makes them all so beautiful, beautiful like you! Funny how the simplest things can be transformed into magical and wondrous things just by coming from the right person. My world is truly magical with you in it. The only thing missing is the body that goes with the heart...but I will wait. It is definitely worth it.
So many people say to me, you are so beautiful...yadda, yadda, yadda and I think to myself you must be freaking crazy. I even had one guy tell me he'd give up one of his kidneys just for a chance with me, LMAO!! I look at myself and think WHAT? I am 42, getting wrinkled, had four kids via C-section no less so I am not the skinny little thing I used to be...but I am beautiful. I only needed to look at me through your eyes to see it. I think that tape player in my mind of that man in my nightmares was very loud til you. You drown him out completely. All those negatives, all that darkness just fades and I know I am beautiful and I am worthy and I AM LOVED!!! I am all those things to the one person that really matters. It changes me, you make me a better me...at least I am remembering who she is again and who she wants to be. She wants to be with you and live out her life and just be! BE happy. BE warm. BE loved.
Gosh this is turning into a long one. I always worry that maybe I write too much or post too much...but somehow, in my heart I think you love it...even if it hurts. So I keep writing and I keep posting things to you on my wall AND yours. I have to Glenn. I have to speak to you in my own way from my heart. You know what...and I am serious when I say this. In all our years apart I have never met a man who understands me, my heart, or what it says BUT YOU!!! I know you do. I know when I write a poem for you you are going to understand it and feel it and know that it really is my heart speaking to you. I have written poems for very few people. You, good ones all...a few friends that lost their children, the man I am with now, very dark poetry and really I think that is all. Oh, no I have written poetry for my Mom, about my grandfather and about my cousin who drowned. So yeah. There you have it. You are it baby all the good in my life that wasn't family comes from you into my poems. Except for Denise. She is my friend on here (I have never met her in person.) Her son was killed in a horrible fire. I wrote poems for her, it so broke my heart. I couldn't do anything else for her but write and I wrote alot to her. Those, I have been told, and my writings to her letter-wise got her through. She used both of my poems for his memorial service and I was more than humbled that she did that. So I guess, there was a good that came to someone else through my heart in my words and that is a good thing. See maybe with you in my life I might just have the heart to share my words with someone else than just friends and family. Maybe I will know it is ok and I am safe and I can bare my soul! I am safe with you. I am HOME!
Well I should go, this is going to take you a day to read as it is. You are with me, now and always. Goodnight love. Sleep sweet!
ALWAYS!
♥Nan